MY Dreams My Wishes
by Verlerious
Summary: After everything that's happened, Zack's been wondering if he's really worthy of his dreams. It takes a little talk with Cloud to help sort him out by the two comparing their dreams. Oneshot


Pairings: hints of Zack/Angeal and Zack/Cloud

Warnings: at the moment it's pretty somber, mild moments of sap, a somewhat shy Cloud, takes place after a particular mission that you might notice if you've played the game but I won't put it here because it could be a spoiler, oh yeah and spoilers.

Comments: My first Zack oriented story! Yay!

My Dreams...My Wishes

_You know…I remember Aerith talking to me once about wishes. She said she had lots of wishes, 23 tiny wishes to be exact to her words. She'd combined them all into one big wish. I hadn't thought about it at the time but now…do I have any wishes that I want so badly I dream about them? There was my wish to become a hero…something I feel like I still have a long ways to go to obtain. But there is another wish that, as Captain Lazard said, might be impossible…._

* * *

"Looks like all the cadets are already here," Zack said seeing the group of them standing in a line waiting for his instructions. They looked up to him, all of them did really, but sometimes he felt like he was failing them. He wasn't the leader that Angeal had been; he wasn't the strong fighter that Sephiroth hand been…and Genesis. He wasn't like any of them but yet…he'd always wanted to be like them. Even now, he found himself wishing that Angeal was still there to help guide him on what was the right thing to do.

What was honor to him? He'd never actually bothered to ask himself that question before but he had an idea of the answer. It wasn't doing what you were told, following orders or any of that necessary nonsense. It was following your dreams, doing what you thought was right and doing something not because some higher up guy told you to do it. Doing things with no regrets, that's how Zack felt about it. And for him, that meant being a hero, even if he ended up only being a hero to that one person in life.

_So then why do I feel so…down right now?_

"Alright," Zack said pulling himself away from his thoughts as he rested glowing blue eyes on the group of infantrymen in front of him, some of which would become future SOLDIER members. They were going to need a lot of training if they thought they could impress vice-president Shinra. "Today, we're going to start off in the training room." He folded his arms stopping in the middle as he smirked at them. "You're each going to get your chance to battle it out against me. If one of you is able to hit me at least once then…hmm…" He rubbed at his chin slightly. "I guess, I'll leave you free to do whatever you want for the rest of the day. And if you don't hit me then…well…let's just say," he grinned at the group of them, "you won't like what'll happen." The soldiers didn't look the least bit excited about what was happening as they glanced at each other with skepticism. Of course Zack knew why. The chances of them landing a hit on a 1st like that were very slim…but the opportunity of them having a day off with no work had its benefits. "Come on! Show a little more enthusiasm or something at least."

"Yes Sir!" The men went to quick attention standing straight and showing their pride even if they were only infantrymen. Even Cloud was standing at attention, the boy somehow managing to stand out in Zack's mind even though he was dressed just like the others. Still, he'd never had many opportunities to talk to Cloud one on one, and overall he'd only met up with him a few times, a couple of bleak moments the two of them happened to be on the same mission at the same time. Zack wasn't really sure why the other was growing on him so strongly. Maybe it was because Zack thought he saw himself in the young boy's dream to become a part of SOLDIER.

_But after being in…you start to see all the things you didn't when you were a 3__rd__ or a 2__nd__._

Honor your dreams. That's what Angeal always said anyway. Zack felt his fingers reaching over his shoulder gently touching the hilt of the buster sword, the same sword that was passed down to him by who he thought of to be the greatest person he'd ever known. He still didn't like to think of Angeal as being dead, and in his mind, it wasn't true. He hadn't struck down his best friend and idol, he didn't kill the one person that made him smile like a maniac.

But he knew that was a lie. And yet Angeal had thanked him for it.

_Thanked me for what? For slaughtering him without a second thought? I should have helped him, somehow!_

"Sir?" The soft voice brought his thoughts away from where they were again as he mentally berated himself for thinking like that. Cloud had taken the helmet off his head and was staring at him with that worried look that just made Zack want to grab him and ruffle his hair up. He was just too innocent for his own good. But Zack believed in him…he just hoped nothing shattered that innocence of his.

"Cloud right?" Cloud smiled, apparently happy the 1st remembered his name. "You ready to show me what you've got?" He could swear he saw reddening in those cheeks as Cloud nodded his head again smiling up at him.

"I'm ready, sir." He knew Cloud could fight. He'd been watching him and watching out for him ever since the two of them had met and connected. Cloud was a fighter. Despite his weak appearance, Cloud was fast and obviously skilled with the sword, though it would probably be a while before he could make 1st. Still, he'd definitely make 2nd in no time.

_But you gotta admit, he's adorable when he's trying to be serious._

"Alright, let's go!"

* * *

"Looks like none of you has gotten a hit on me," Zack said knocking down another soldier as he stood up, his sword still in its sheath. "You've only got one chance left. Who's left?" He knew who was left, even as Cloud stepped up easily fitting his helmet on his head though the stiffness of his movements was hint enough that he was nervous. "You ready, Cloud?" It was strange that of all the infantry men there, Cloud's name was the only one he remembered.

"I'm ready, sir," Cloud said pulling out his training sword.

"Good," Zack smiled and started to move, easily jumping out of the way as Cloud tried to swing at him. "That swinging arm of yours is definitely getting a lot better." Zack could almost imagine another coating of red on Cloud's cheek as the blond swung the blade again, coming nearly close to hitting Zack's right arm.

"Thanks," he said, the compliment appearing to only spur him into trying harder. You would think that Zack's larger sword would slow him down, but he'd gotten use to carrying the thing, considering it his own personal burden. Maybe he was being childish, but he felt like the big sword was more like him. It was heavy but it didn't mind carrying its own weight.

_Wait…that didn't make sense._

Pulling the sword free, Zack came close to knocking the blunt end of the sword against Cloud's shoulder, but found himself hesitating not wanting to hurt the young, innocent boy. Apparently, Cloud didn't feel any regrets on that, managing to hit Zack in the arm. A shocked look came over Cloud's face, his first time hitting the higher up. Zack grunted slightly at the dull pain as he stood up straight. He'd let his guard down. He found he did that a lot when fighting against Cloud, but this was the first time Cloud's hit actually made it through. "Well, looks like you got me," Zack said as the training program ended after the successful hit. "Good job." Smiling, Zack clapped Cloud on the shoulder pretty sure this would probably make the others in the group appreciate little Cloud more now. "Looks like you guys will get to do whatever you want for the rest of the day. A promise is a promise."

"Yeah!" Cheering was heard coming from outside the training glass as the other soldiers yelled and cheered wanting that day off to go get drunk and find women and basically do whatever they wanted.

"Just don't go breaking any legs or I'll get into big trouble for this," Zack said sweatdropping. Seeing all these young happy soldiers always made him think of himself as he remembered his times with Angeal. The two of them had been inseparable. And even some of the others had teased him about acting like he was Angeal's sweet wife.

_Or the pet puppy Angeal adored._

At the time he didn't like being called Angeal's little puppy but now…he kind of missed the enduring feeling it gave him. He had belonged to Angeal and no one else…at least that's how it felt. Not that he could ever express such a feeling to him.

_Especially not now._

"Hey Cloud." The blond looked at him, blinking in confusion wondering what the 1st wanted. "Why don't the two of us grab a bite to eat? My treat."

"Oh um…" Cloud blinked glancing around before he looked at Zack and gave a slight nod of his head. Despite the fact that Zack felt like he was really a strong go, Cloud was still the type that didn't talk much. It was because of that, that more often than not Zack found Cloud alone rather than with the others. It seemed that this time he would have had some people to join, some of the other soldiers waiting behind like they wanted to talk to Cloud, but after Zack asked him to eat dinner with him, they migrated their way out the door. "Alright…what did you have in mind?"

"Well since you're the one who got the lucky hit in," Zack said chuckling. "I figured I'd just let you decide. So pick a place! You know...as long as it's within my budget." He couldn't believe that the Turks got paid more than him! How dirty was that? Especially when he had to do WAY more work than they did.

"I thought SOLDIER got good pay."

"Trust me…you'd have been better of joining the Turks," Zack said. "The pay's great and you don't have to do anything but walk around in a black suit and try to look tough."

"But then…" Cloud shook his head, "it'd defeat the purpose of why I wanted to join SOLDIER in the first place."

"And what reason was that?"

Cloud blinked frowning for a moment before he looked up at Zack. "To become someone strong. To become the type of person that can protect the people closest to me."

Zack stared at him, seeing the resolve in his eyes before he nodded smiling softly. "Then you're perfect for joining SOLDIER."

_That sounds almost like my..._

"Sir?" Cloud asked, the voice coming out soft and questioning, causing Zack to really look at him, curious to what the other wanted. "Why did you join SOLDIER?" Zack glanced around for a moment realizing that all the others had left, apparently taking advantage of the time off they received. Well...it wasn't like it was a weird question...but he felt like even though he was a 1st, he hadn't gotten any closer to his goal. Why was he even in SOLDIER anyway?

_Wow...wasn't expecting that question._

"Hm?" Zack blinked, the words barely processing in his mind as he stared back at the innocent blond looking at him with big pure blue eyes. "My reason..." he smiled slightly feeling strangely relieved to have someone ask him that. Instead, he asked, "Cloud...do you have any dreams?"

"Dreams?" Cloud blinked then frowned thinking on it. "My dreams...I guess...to be stronger. Pretty much everything I said earlier would be my wish."

"Twenty-one little wishes?"

Cloud actually blushed and glanced around like he was afraid of the others hearing as he looked at the ground talking softly. "I guess...to be accepted...to be like Sephiroth and Angeal and Genesis...and you." He let the words die on his lips, Zack looking a bit shocked when Cloud looked up at him with determination. "I want to be like you, Zack...I mean...sir."

It was only a moment's hesitation before Zack found himself throwing an arm around Cloud's shoulder and smiling ruffling his hair. He was cute...why didn't he have more friends or even a girlfriend? Or did he already have a girlfriend back home waiting on him to come back? "Then I believe your wishes will come true."

"They will?" Cloud asked trying to straighten his hair out again, frowning.

_Why is he so cute?_

Zack shook his head before he reached down ruffling the messy blond hair again and chuckling as Cloud tried to fix it again. Cloud's hair probably had to be even wilder than his! "Trust me, they will. As long as you promise me something."

"Hm?" That seemed to get Cloud's attention as he looked at him curiously, fingers still stuck in his hair from when he was trying to fix it. "What's that?"

"Promise you'll never give up on your dreams...your wishes. That you'll always keep trying until you reach your goal."

"I can do that," Cloud said nodding his head. It was said with such confidence, something Zack wish he had more of. No, it was hard to be confident when he couldn't even save the one person he wanted to save. What kind of person could become a hero after that?

"Good. Now let's go eat!" Cloud followed after him as he headed for the training room door preparing to leave but hesitation before finding himself stopping. He wondered if Cloud would laugh at his dream if he told him about it. A glance back showed him the young blond still trying to fix his hair before the eyes looked at him in confusion after being caught.

"To be a hero," Zack mumbled out turning back around and looking at the door in front of them.

"Hm? Did you say something, sir?" Cloud asked apparently hearing the small voice that slipped from Zack's lips.

"My dream...my reason for joining SOLDIER was to be a hero." He didn't look back at the younger soldier after saying that, instead resting his hand on the door knob about to open it. He didn't know why he was expecting to see an excusing look on the blond even though their dreams were similar. How could he make a wish like that when he couldn't even protect people? But as he started to turn the door knob, he heard the other's voice, the words stopping him in his tracks.

"I like it...it's a dream that suits you...even though you're already a hero to me." Zack didn't say anything in return, still stuck in a state of chock as he left out of the room being called a hero by the boy whose dream was to become SOLDIER. "Do you mind if I add it to my list of wishes?"

"I don't mind."

"Then I will add it to my list of wishes. Maybe then I'll be able to be more like you."

"Alright," Zack said grinning as he kept walking, getting salutes from younger SOLDIER generations. He almost felt tempted to call Cloud a small puppy the way the other was following him. No, if he had to choose he was call Cloud more of a kitten than a puppy, just because of the curious facial expressions he gave and how calm he was. "If we both make that wish ,there's no way we'll lose."

"Just...promise you'll be there when it happens." Zack wasn't sure why Cloud asked that of him. It wasn't like he was planning to go anywhere any time soon. Though it was true that now that he was a 1st, his missions would be loads more dangerous. And with the other three 1st missing, he knew all the tough stuff was going to be tossed on him and him alone.

"I promise," Zack said, picking his words carefully as he turned around and smiled at Cloud. "Even if I'm dead, I'll be there to see your wishes come true. Now let's go eat before I starve to death."

"Yes sir!" He felt the smile on Cloud's face before he saw it, and maybe just a little he felt more like himself. He was willing to live this life to the fullest, even if his other wish would never come true.

* * *

_There was one more wish I had...one I hadn't told Cloud about. At the time, I figured a wish like that would be a little too much for such a young kid to handle. But now I wonder if maybe I should have told him. My wish? My last dream? I just wanted everything the way it was before...even if I was a 2nd or a 3rd or none of the above. I wanted...everyone to be there again. I wanted everyone to live. I wanted...Angeal to...live. My one last wish._

END

And that shall be my first Zack fic. Hurrzah!


End file.
